Out With the Old

Charlene and a few friends are waiting for me at her place. My car refuses to budge from the icy grip mother nature has on it. Walking is not an option because of the five foot snow drifts all over the place. The bus service sucks and the cabs are all busy. It's New Years Eve and here I sit...alone.

Year 2004, you had to kick me in the ass one last time. Didn't you? You have been one of the worst years of my life. You gave us a half assed summer, where it didn't warm up enough to even go swimming. Two of my friends died in 2004. I had an accident that forced me to give up my career. Now, on your last day, you fuck me up again with a blizzard and snow me in at home. How much more can I take?

Good riddance! As of midnight tonight, you are no more. A bad year, gone down into history. I will welcome 2005 with open arms. Hopefully you didn't inherit any bad habits from your predecessor, and will treat us all much better.

Here's my wishes to all of you for a Happy and much more Prosperous New Year.

Who Dood It?

There was an unmistakable stench of shit in the air at the 7 Eleven this morning. Not right away, but as I rounded the corner to the fridges. Phooo-eee!

A young lady was hovering in the aisle right next to the fridge. She looked at me as if I were to blame for fouling the air back there. Well it wasn't me! I just got here. Don't try to give me that "girls don't fart" crap.

With a wrinkled nose I got my milk, smiled at her, and high tailed it out of there. We met again at the check stand and I gave her that "I know damned well who did it and you got caught" look.

So next time sweetheart, don't chance it. Take your shit at home before wandering out in public.

A Gift

Christmas day has come and gone with the usual fanfare of the moment. The visiting, gifting, dinners, hugs and sobs all have happened again for another year. Making this Christmas a bit special was an upcoming wedding announcement.

Sabrina and Sheldon became engaged. Seeing their happiness, and the sparkle in my daughter's eyes as she proudly showed off her engagement ring, were Christmas gifts this dad will remember for a long time.

Christmas 2004 made my day.

The Happy Couple

Track Santa

As the holidays near I really must take a break from my computer. The pressure is on to get all the small details wrapped up before the big day's here.

My place is all adorned. Gifts are purchased. The fridge is full of turkey and ham, so I have all my shit together. Sabrina and Sheldon live a hundred miles away so they should have their shit together. Eastlyn and Charlene are impatiently tapping their toes. They've just taken a final inventory. According to them, there's lots more stuff to be done so we can all have our shit together.

Break time it is then. To all those responsible for advancing the numbers on my site meter, from my family to yours.

Have a Safe and Happy Holiday Season

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Click Here To Track Santa Christmas Eve

I Was in a Good Mood

While scurrying around the village this afternoon I ran into an acquaintance who was also getting her last minute shopping done. We agreed the corner bar was the place to go for some well earned refreshment.

My friend and I sat down and waited to order a couple of drinks. And we waited, and waited. There were only two other people in the place. Finally I walked up to the bar and asked the young lady if she'd please bring our drinks along with a jug of ice to our table.

Very snobishly I was told "Tsk, you know it's self service 'til 5pm". She glared at me with a sour face and banged our drinks and ice on the bar with such force I thought the glasses were going to break. Well geez lady, excuuuse me for being the purpose of your job! A paying customer! I'm sooo sorry I interrupted your soap opera or whatever you were watching on tv.

I paid her for the drinks and she had the bloody gall to ask if she could keep the change for her tip. Tip? MY ASS! You fucking lazy little bitch! You have to earn a tip by pleasantly delivering service. All you accomplished was to drive two customers away, never to return again.

I'm making a point of telling people about that shitty bar experience. Should be good for their business, no? Maybe that's why there were only two other customers.

Was she a student who passed exams by cheating, and then got fired from her career because she didn't have the brains to perform? Now the only work she's qualified for is service personnel. All because she was, and still is, fucking lazy.

How hard would it have been to say "sure I'll be there in a minute" Walk the ten or so steps to our table and bring our drinks? No need to even smile.

"Here's a ten dollar tip sweetheart. Have a Merry Christmas" I was in a good mood.

No Go

Due to the damned blizzard that's raging outside, our ghost hunt has been postponed. It's not fit out there for man, nor beast, nor ghost.

Oh well, mother nature's fucked us again. Or is this an omen? Don't go Woooooo hooooooo!

The End Nears

December is full force upon us. We're in the middle of the month, a week before Christmas and half a month away from the New Year.

This December I heard from a couple old friends whom I rarely see, wishing me the best of the season. We still keep in touch with a few short phone calls every few years, but we never seem to have the time to get together and really talk.

What happened to all the extra time we had when we were teenagers and young adults in our twenties? We did all kinds of things together. Sure, circumstances changed some. We got married, had kids, bought houses, got divorced, and so on and so on. I guess that meant we could just take a break from each other for all those years.

Now we're middle aged or older, the kids are grown, life's pace is slowed down a little, and we're looking each other up to find out what's been happening. I was asking about some of the other guys, and was shocked to learn two of the old gang are no more. Kicked the bucket, gone, dead! That's not supposed to happen. We're not old enough to just die like that. Or are we?

That is sad. I'll never see them again, but it was a rude awakening. I'm to blame for my own sense of loss. I should have attended that party I was invited to five years ago. It was a sort of reunion and most of the gang was there. I chose instead, to meet with a client who I thought was more important than a party.

So my New Years resolution will be to look up and make some time for all of my remaining old friends during 2005. Who knows, maybe next December I'll be among the missing. We're not getting any younger and time seems to be rapidly running out.

Extra Curiccular Activity

Has anyone ever seen a for real ghost? I haven't yet, but I plan on catching one in action in the near future. My ghost trackers group is getting real serious about having a ghost hunt.

Not too many in the group claim to have seen a ghost. That's our main objective. Tracking down those elusive buggers. Personally I'd be satisfied just seeing an unexplained shadow or mist. I'd probably be scared shitless but hey, at least I'd be among the ranks of experienced ghost busters.

Perhaps as a team we can attain our goal. We're headed out next Sunday to a small cemetery. Maybe we'll find a ghost, or mist, or shadow.

• Together
• Everyone
• Achieves
• More

Has anyone ever seen a real ghost?

The Morning After

We had a super time at the Xmas resident gathering. First read the entry below this if you haven't done so.

I did meet the Sow Cow. She's quite the charming lady. Her friends are her co-workers and they occasionally get together for a girls night out. All have boyfriends so the lezzy stuff is all in my imagination. I'm to knock on her door if there's too much noise coming from her apartment above me. She wants to borrow my Frank Sinatra CD. How would she know I listen to Frank Sinatra songs?

Mr Security Guard is an asshole. The comments he was making show he has absolutely no respect for people. He's rude, obnoxious, and reeked of booze. I kept my distance from him, as did everyone else. He left after a short time.

The Mountain Man is a jolly good fellow. Very sociable and fun to be around. The ladies were chatting him up. I don't know if he turned them on or they were infatuated by all that hair on his face. I was right about him. He is a nice chap.

Before the evening ended I was invited to this single lady's apartment for coffee. I politely explained that although I live alone, I do have a girlfriend, sort of wife. She began whispering sweet things in my ear to get me into her place. Seduction, that trollop! Imagine if Charlene and her ever met up in the hallway. Oh wow! Sorry sweetie, this bachelor is committed.

The lovely Mrs Goatee and her hubby didn't show. They're still being the absentee tennants.

A Nosey Neighbour

Holy Moly! I have an opportunity to meet my neighbours from the apartment block I live in. An invitation was slipped under my door asking me to attend the first annual Xmas gathering of residents. I don't know these people by name, just by what I call them.

Mr and Mrs Goatee (because he has a goatee), who live down at the end of the hall and are home only three or four days a month. I'll find out where they are the rest of the time and why they park a different car each time they show up. Mrs Goatee is ooh-la-la-wow.

The Sow Cow (because she's big and fat), who walks like an elephant in the apartment above me. I'll find out who all her model type girlfriends are, or if there's some sort of lezzy stuff happening up there. I never see any men go there.

The Security Guard (that's his job), who lives next door. I'll find out exactly how much of an asshole he really is. He yells at his lady friends a lot after he fucks them. The walls are thin here.

The Mountain Man (because he has so much hair on his face only his nose sticks out), who lives in one of these apartments. He seems to be quite a nice chap.

Of course there are the others. The partyers, the weed smokers, single women, and normal people like me.

My Rsvp says "Eric will attend". I'd have to be on crack to miss an event of this magnitude. Here's hoping they all show.

'Tis Not the Season to Drink and Drive

A good thing happened on my way to the casino last night. Along with everyone else in my lane of traffic, I was pulled over by the police doing a check stop for drunk, impaired drivers.

I've often wondered how many drivers I'm sharing the road with, have their judgement impaired by some chemical. It's not the falling down drunk types I worry about. They're easy to spot and keep away from. It's the ones whose reaction and judgement times are a touch slow because they've had an extra drink, hoot, or whatever.

I'm elated the boys and girls in blue are out there in the cold trying to ensure a safe and happy holiday season for all. It's impossible to get all impaired drivers off the road. Some people will drive drunk no matter what. I know a few of those personally. If the police only catch a small percentage of them, it's that many less on the road that can potentially tear a family apart.

Oh yes, I passed with flying colors. No alcohol on my breath, seat belt on, valid driver's licence and registration. Two out of the six from my lane of traffic were detained by the police. That's two less...and counting.

Arrrgh

It was one of those Friday nights. I don't want to bore anyone with details. To keep it interesting, here's a picture of MY COCK, standing proud.

Old?

Some little kid referred to me as an old man today. "Mommy that old man's in the way" is what he said. Fuck him, that little gaffer. What would he have called a person of eighty, or ninety?

I've got virtually no grey hair, nor do I walk with a cane. I feel just as I did twenty years ago. In hind sight though, when I was that kid's age, people of twenty-one were old. When I was twenty, thirty-nine was old. In that kid's eyes I guess I am old. That damned little rug rat!

Waiting

Charlene's been on my case to get the Christmas tree set up. I have in the past put the tree together in November. Just before the big day arrives I'm busy replacing burnt out bulbs, broken ornaments, or even replacing the tree. It's simply become boring and we've found a much nicer one. I'm waiting as long as possible this year so I only have to do things once. Everything should then be a novelty that won't lose it's appeal by Christmas day.

Whatever happened to decorating a real pine tree Christmas eve?

Eyes Front

Why do girlfriends pick on blondes? I find these golden haired goddesses so intimidatingly beautiful I can't help but admire what I see. Charlene is constantly making harassing remarks about these fair creatures that happen to catch my eye. It's done under her breath but loud enough to be heard by the innocent blonde lady. An outright display of jealousy I say! Of course I remind Char of the days when I resembled a Greek God and could easily woo them right out of their pants. She believes me! It makes her love me all the more now that I'm a middle aged has been.

Blonde jokes make her day.

A blonde goes into Tim Horton's and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch." But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!" Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!" The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads ...

CLICK TO FIND OUT WHAT HE READS
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